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Thing of the Week: Obnoxious Sweaters

November 18, 2011

Ok , so while I rummaged through my mind to find inspiration for this I got sidetracked by a familiar tune playing in the background. I looked over to my television and I noticed that Gullah Gullah Island was on TV, and while I watched I stopped thinking about what I was supposed to do and as I tend to do whilst watching shows from the 90s I judged the fashion as if I was Nina Garcia on Project Runway (to be fair I usually like to pretend I’m Heidi Klum most of the time but on this night I was Nina Garcia, roll with it and stay with me.)  Anywho, I noticed that I finally figured out where my love for obnoxious prints stems from and then I got the brilliant idea to inform everyone of a trend I live for.

YES! GLORIOUS, OBNOXIOUS, BILL COSBY LIKE, NORDIC TIME SWEATERS!!! Now I know that you’re probably thinking that it’s a hideous style and you’re scared that Mr. Huxtable will stalk you and shank you just to get his hands on your new found trend, but trust me with the right style you too can join me in the land of awesomely obnoxious sweatertopia!

Here are two examples of very tamed versions of the sweaters I live for. I tend to be a bit more outrageous with my sweater choices but most of you will appreciate these more polished versions. Also, just a tad of advice I tend to wear my obnoxious sweaters a bit over sized depending on the fit and while these two particular sweaters may be a bit pricey, you can always rummage through your local thrift shops to find even greater and obnoxious-er sweaters at lesser prices.

Sweater 1) by Gant ($145.00)             Sweater 2) by American Apparel ($79.00)

Donatella Does H&M (Men’s)

November 18, 2011

Yes, that’s correct as many of you fashion tweekers know back a couple of years ago Donatella declared that Versace would not part take in a diffusion line. Well the fab Ms. V has choked on and swallowed her words, because on November 19, 2011 the Versace for H&M line will hit about 300 stores worldwide. Personally this is a Godsend because I borderline worship at the leathery booties that are Donatella’s feet and LIVE LIVE LIVE for her heavenly voice that sounds like she’s been smoking and gargling nails since the moment of conception. I get a little twinkle in my eye every time her collagen filled lips utter any kind of sound it’s like angels singing on high . Well here are a few items from the men’s line that I LIVE FOR!

First up is this pink jacket. While you may not want to look like a bottle of Peptol Bismol has exploded on you by wearing the full pink suit that the line has to offer, you can always split up the suit. Wear just the jacket to add a bit pizzazz to your drab wardrobe. ($149)

 Next is this modern take on the classic black jacket. I live for the long lapel and it’s perfect for sprucing your look up for those crazy holiday parties you partake in. ($199)

I also live for this leather jacket because it’s so Kanye. If you wore you could feel free to express your greatness to anyone who would listen and also to TYPE IN ALL CAPS!

I live for these dress shirts ($49.95) and dress pants ($69.95) because they’re not your everyday basic pieces. The shirts have a great gold embellishment at the end of the collar, which are ideal for when you need to look down and be reminded of how royal you are.  The pants seem to be quite fitted, and for anyone who knows me you’ll know that the less I can breathe or bend over in my pants the more I love them.

Reason number one I live for this tank ($34.95) it’s shiny. Reason number two, it makes me feel like a knight in shining armor and I can picture myself wearing it and running around poking people with a stick whilst yelling “YOU’VE JUST BEEN JOUSTED THE EFF OUT!!!”

This scarf ($34.95) is the right mix of obnoxious and if I was under some kind of recreational substance and waved it around I’m sure I’d feel like a magical leopard was chasing me while spewing out a glorious rainbow of awesomeness.

And for the less daring here’s this scarf ($49.95) It’s less daring, ‘nuff said.

Oh and here’s these briefs ($17.95) yea wearing these would make anyone feel like sex wrapped in bacon. YUMMMMM

 Last but not least here’s some leather pants ($299) I only really love them, not because they make me feel like a member of a hair band in the 80s therefore giving me license to be inebriated all the time, but because they remind me of the episode of Friends where Ross can’t put his leather pants back on and he lathers lotion on his legs as well as baby powder and hijinx ensues. It makes me giggle inside.

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